The Western Card Czar of Giovanniland is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by King Giovanni I with a fair hand, and notable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, rampant corporate plagiarism, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 4.806 billion Giovannilandians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Giovannistadt. The average income tax rate is 97.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Giovannilandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,984 trillion Golden Orbs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 412,821 Golden Orbs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Owning a fishing rod can cause you to be subject to military questioning, airplane passengers have been known to stuff pillows in their jackets to get extra arm room, seven-year-olds debate for weeks on the merits of the Oxford comma, and Giovanniland isn't what it used to be. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Giovanniland's national animal is the Hyacinth macaw, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Violetism.

Giovanniland is ranked 39,126^th in the world and 433^rd in the West Pacific for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 3,642.54 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.