The Federal Republic of Germaniej is a massive, genial nation, ruled by The Conquerer with an even hand, and renowned for its anti-smoking policies, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic population of 4.523 billion Germaniejians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Berlean. The average income tax rate is 91.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Germaniejian economy, worth 506 trillion marks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 111,974 marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Germaniejians refer to transgender people with insults instead of pronouns, popular sunny beaches always have a cloudy outlook, attendance of fathers at PTA meetings is at an all-time high, and the media seems excessively interested in what The Conquerer is wearing this season. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Germaniej's national animal is the Panda, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Atheism.

Germaniej is ranked 286,079^th in the world and 1,111^th in Europe for Most Primitive, scoring -212.37 on the Scary Big Number Scale.