The Federation of Garvinizia is a huge, safe nation, remarkable for its state-planned economy, smutty television, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, devout population of 256 million Garvinizians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 42.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Garvinizian economy, worth 16.4 trillion Salvns a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, fairly diversified black market in Book Publishing, Pizza Delivery, Furniture Restoration, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 64,060 Salvns, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Brancaland has gifted over nine thousand putrid moose carcasses to Garvinizia as a reminder of their "special relationship", neon signs promoting safe driving often distract drivers, drunk drivers are sentenced to death, and all guns must be registered. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Garvinizia's national animal is the Cat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Garvinizia is ranked 7,742^nd in the world and 36^th in Europe for Most Primitive, scoring 100.62 on the Scary Big Number Scale.