The Holy Pink Christmas of FreeMales is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Santa with an even hand, and notable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, restrictive gun laws, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 4.298 billion Fremalesians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Industry, and Education also on the agenda, while Welfare and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of North Pole. The average income tax rate is 49.0%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient FreeMalesian economy, worth 955 trillion Candy Canes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 222,261 Candy Canes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Graffiti artists spend lengthy periods of time in jail, workers have seized control of the economy, Santa's relatives have been married into the royal families of foreign nations against their will, and a new generation of aquariumless hotels are being built under government supervision. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. FreeMales's national animal is the Bat Elf, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Indigo.

FreeMales is ranked 2,857^th in the world and 5^th in Chicken overlords for Most Advanced Defense Forces, scoring 18,582.24 on the Total War Preparedness Rating.