The Armed Republic of Flaxland is a huge, genial nation, renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, compulsory military service, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical population of 296 million Flaxians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The medium-sized, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Defense. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 20.6%.

The powerhouse Flaxlandian economy, worth 25.5 trillion Faxes a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is 86,225 Faxes, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 377,025 per year while the poor average 12,440, a ratio of 30.3 to 1.

Commercial jingles have been ham-handedly forced into world renowned symphonies, criminals and college students are taking an interest in the government's new weed-killing program, the combined alert sound of a nation simultaneously receiving a text message is a common cause of hearing damage, and political scientists despair as the national mascot election eclipses all others in voter enthusiasm. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Flaxland's national animal is the Unicorn, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Flaxland is ranked 260,453^rd in the world and 938^th in Europe for Most Primitive, scoring -133.49 on the Scary Big Number Scale.