by Max Barry

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Highest Drug Use: 1,588th Largest Soda Pop Sector: 1,711th Largest Publishing Industry: 2,345th
The Panda's Federal Republic of
Knowledge is Power
Communications Officer
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Widely Abused

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Europeia Dispatch Office

Population9.913 billion

CapitalRaging Coolidgetopia
Leadera Panda that wandered into the Capitol


The Panda's Federal Republic of Europeia Dispatch Office is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by a Panda that wandered into the Capitol with a fair hand, and notable for its unlimited-speed roads, daily referendums, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 9.913 billion Dispatchers live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Raging Coolidgetopia. The average income tax rate is 35.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Europeian economy, worth a remarkable 1,705 trillion Dispatches a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 172,001 Dispatches, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

Barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the Raging Coolidgetopia Natural History Museum, fruit market traders let their stock spoil rather than reduce their prices at the day's end, legislators work 24/7 due to an influx of single-issue bills, and the nation's prisons are touted as the best weight loss programs money can't buy. Crime is well under control. Europeia Dispatch Office's national animal is the Journalist, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Europeia Dispatch Office is ranked 6,266th in the world and 92nd in Europeia for Most Cultured, scoring 137 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.

Highest Drug Use: 1,588thTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 1,711thLargest Publishing Industry: 2,345thMost Efficient Economies: 3,889thMost Extensive Civil Rights: 4,121stLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 4,197thMost Politically Free: 4,660thMost Subsidized Industry: 4,765thMost Rebellious Youth: 5,130thHighest Disposable Incomes: 5,383rdNudest: 6,083rdMost Stationary: 6,116thMost Cultured: 6,266thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 6,540thHighest Economic Output: 6,870thMost Cheerful Citizens: 6,999thSmartest Citizens: 7,588thLargest Gambling Industry: 7,643rdFattest Citizens: 7,950thTop
Highest Average Incomes: 8,645thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 8,890thMost Developed: 10,239thMost Extreme: 10,263rdMost Influential: 11,157thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 12,230thRudest Citizens: 13,197thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 13,774thMost Advanced Public Education: 14,667thMost Scientifically Advanced: 15,134thLargest Insurance Industry: 15,441stMost Armed: 15,453rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 16,057th
Highest Drug Use: 3rd in the regionMost Politically Free: 5th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 7th in the regionTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 19th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 21st in the regionMost Stationary: 23rd in the regionNudest: 24th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 33rd in the regionMost Extreme: 36th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 39th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 40th in the regionFattest Citizens: 42nd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 44th in the regionTop
Most Armed: 53rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 61st in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 66th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 68th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 69th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 70th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 71st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 73rd in the regionMost Pro-Market: 73rd in the regionLargest Black Market: 78th in the regionLargest Populations: 87th in the regionRudest Citizens: 88th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 88th in the regionMost Cultured: 92nd in the region

National Happenings

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