by Max Barry

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Highest Drug Use: 1,717thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,072ndLargest Publishing Industry: 2,467th
The Panda's Federal Republic of
Knowledge is Power
Communications Officer
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Widely Abused

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Europeia Dispatch Office

Population14.588 billion

CapitalRaging Coolidgetopia
Leadera Panda that wandered into the Capitol


The Panda's Federal Republic of Europeia Dispatch Office is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by a Panda that wandered into the Capitol with a fair hand, and remarkable for its daily referendums, devotion to social welfare, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 14.588 billion Dispatchers live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Raging Coolidgetopia. The average income tax rate is 33.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Europeian economy, worth a remarkable 2,528 trillion Dispatches a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 173,324 Dispatches, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

Barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the Raging Coolidgetopia Natural History Museum, fruit market traders let their stock spoil rather than reduce their prices at the day's end, legislators work 24/7 due to an influx of single-issue bills, and the nation's prisons are touted as the best weight loss programs money can't buy. Crime is well under control. Europeia Dispatch Office's national animal is the Journalist, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Europeia Dispatch Office is ranked 169,296th in the world and 693rd in Europeia for Most Popular Tourist Destinations, with 153.34 Tourists Per Hour.

Highest Drug Use: 1,717thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,072ndTop
Largest Publishing Industry: 2,467thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2,673rdLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 4,269thMost Efficient Economies: 4,424thHighest Disposable Incomes: 4,683rdMost Rebellious Youth: 4,782ndMost Stationary: 4,865thHighest Economic Output: 6,040thMost Cultured: 6,290thMost Cheerful Citizens: 7,115thMost Subsidized Industry: 7,320thSmartest Citizens: 8,393rdHighest Average Incomes: 9,893rdNudest: 9,893rdMost Influential: 10,148thLargest Gambling Industry: 10,301stLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 11,502ndHighest Wealthy Incomes: 11,832ndTop
Fattest Citizens: 12,431stMost Developed: 14,663rdMost Extensive Civil Rights: 15,107thMost Scientifically Advanced: 15,494thMost Politically Free: 15,534thLargest Populations: 16,795thMost Advanced Public Education: 17,195thLargest Information Technology Sector: 17,670thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 18,265thLargest Insurance Industry: 22,302ndMost Inclusive: 22,716thHighest Poor Incomes: 22,858thMost Extreme: 23,075th
Highest Drug Use: 4th in the regionMost Politically Free: 8th in the regionTop
Most Extensive Civil Rights: 11th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 11th in the regionMost Stationary: 12th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 19th in the regionMost Extreme: 20th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 20th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 27th in the regionNudest: 28th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 32nd in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 33rd in the regionFattest Citizens: 40th in the regionTop
Most Efficient Economies: 45th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 50th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 51st in the regionMost Pro-Market: 51st in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 54th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 58th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 60th in the regionLargest Populations: 61st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 64th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 67th in the regionMost Armed: 70th in the region

National Happenings

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