by Max Barry

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Highest Drug Use: 1,666thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,098thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2,542nd
The Panda's Federal Republic of
Knowledge is Power
Communications Officer
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Widely Abused

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Europeia Dispatch Office

Population15.212 billion

CapitalRaging Coolidgetopia
Leadera Panda that wandered into the Capitol


The Panda's Federal Republic of Europeia Dispatch Office is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by a Panda that wandered into the Capitol with a fair hand, and renowned for its flagrant waste-dumping, frequent executions, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 15.212 billion Dispatchers live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Raging Coolidgetopia. The average income tax rate is 33.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Europeian economy, worth a remarkable 2,636 trillion Dispatches a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 173,327 Dispatches, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

Barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the Raging Coolidgetopia Natural History Museum, fruit market traders let their stock spoil rather than reduce their prices at the day's end, legislators work 24/7 due to an influx of single-issue bills, and the nation's prisons are touted as the best weight loss programs money can't buy. Crime is well under control. Europeia Dispatch Office's national animal is the Journalist, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Europeia Dispatch Office is ranked 230,519th in the world and 763rd in Europeia for Most Advanced Defense Forces, scoring -14.83 on the Total War Preparedness Rating.

Highest Drug Use: 1,666thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,098thTop
Largest Cheese Export Sector: 2,542ndLargest Publishing Industry: 2,583rdLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 4,252ndMost Efficient Economies: 4,611thHighest Disposable Incomes: 4,652ndMost Stationary: 4,737thMost Rebellious Youth: 4,820thHighest Economic Output: 5,995thMost Cultured: 6,339thMost Cheerful Citizens: 7,164thMost Subsidized Industry: 7,465thSmartest Citizens: 8,487thNudest: 9,624thLargest Gambling Industry: 9,768thMost Influential: 10,019thHighest Average Incomes: 10,114thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 11,332ndTop
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 11,914thFattest Citizens: 12,267thHighest Food Quality: 12,520thMost Developed: 14,622ndMost Extensive Civil Rights: 14,682ndMost Scientifically Advanced: 15,359thMost Politically Free: 15,507thLargest Populations: 16,596thMost Advanced Public Education: 17,099thLargest Information Technology Sector: 17,632ndLargest Manufacturing Sector: 18,815thLargest Insurance Industry: 21,498thMost Extreme: 22,256thMost Inclusive: 22,531stHighest Poor Incomes: 22,725th
Highest Drug Use: 5th in the regionMost Politically Free: 8th in the regionTop
Most Extensive Civil Rights: 11th in the regionMost Stationary: 12th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 15th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 20th in the regionMost Extreme: 20th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 23rd in the regionNudest: 27th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 30th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 35th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 35th in the regionTop
Fattest Citizens: 42nd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 49th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 56th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 56th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 58th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 58th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 61st in the regionLargest Populations: 62nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 63rd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 63rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 64th in the regionMost Armed: 80th in the region

National Happenings

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