by Max Barry

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Highest Drug Use: 1,359thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,069thLargest Publishing Industry: 2,716th
The Panda's Federal Republic of
Knowledge is Power
Communications Officer
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Widely Abused

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Europeia Dispatch Office

Population17.252 billion

CapitalRaging Coolidgetopia
Leadera Panda that wandered into the Capitol


The Panda's Federal Republic of Europeia Dispatch Office is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by a Panda that wandered into the Capitol with a fair hand, and notable for its frequent executions, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 17.252 billion Dispatchers live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Raging Coolidgetopia. The average income tax rate is 33.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Europeian economy, worth a remarkable 2,990 trillion Dispatches a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 173,327 Dispatches, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

Barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the Raging Coolidgetopia Natural History Museum, fruit market traders let their stock spoil rather than reduce their prices at the day's end, legislators work 24/7 due to an influx of single-issue bills, and the nation's prisons are touted as the best weight loss programs money can't buy. Crime is well under control. Europeia Dispatch Office's national animal is the Journalist, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Europeia Dispatch Office is ranked 5,226th in the world and 55th in Europeia for Most Efficient Economies, scoring 100.26 on the Krugman-Greenspan Business Outlook Index.

Highest Drug Use: 1,359thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,069thLargest Publishing Industry: 2,716thTop
Largest Cheese Export Sector: 2,795thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 4,131stMost Stationary: 4,359thHighest Disposable Incomes: 4,539thMost Rebellious Youth: 4,627thMost Efficient Economies: 5,226thHighest Economic Output: 5,681stMost Cultured: 6,491stMost Cheerful Citizens: 7,336thMost Subsidized Industry: 7,899thSmartest Citizens: 8,723rdNudest: 9,713thMost Influential: 9,724thLargest Gambling Industry: 10,547thHighest Average Incomes: 10,640thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 12,564thHighest Food Quality: 12,590thFattest Citizens: 12,994thTop
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 14,182ndMost Developed: 15,232ndLargest Populations: 15,471stMost Scientifically Advanced: 15,790thMost Advanced Public Education: 17,095thLargest Information Technology Sector: 18,699thMost Extensive Civil Rights: 20,850thMost Politically Free: 20,998thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 21,165thMost Inclusive: 24,437thHighest Poor Incomes: 24,483rdLargest Insurance Industry: 26,569thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 26,663rdLargest Governments: 27,266th
Highest Drug Use: 4th in the regionMost Politically Free: 9th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 9th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 10th in the regionTop
Most Stationary: 12th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 17th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 21st in the regionMost Extreme: 23rd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 24th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 26th in the regionFattest Citizens: 27th in the regionNudest: 30th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 30th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 46th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 51st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 52nd in the regionTop
Most Efficient Economies: 55th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 56th in the regionLargest Populations: 60th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 68th in the regionMost Armed: 74th in the regionMost Cultured: 74th in the regionRudest Citizens: 77th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 78th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 81st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 86th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 91st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 105th in the region

National Happenings

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