by Max Barry

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Rudest Citizens: 1stLargest Retail Industry: 4thFattest Citizens: 6th
The Walled Cities of
Corporate Bordello
בתחבולות תעשה לך מלחמה‎
Influence
Minnow
Civil Rights
Very Good
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Superb

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

EretzIsrael

Population19.424 billion

Capitalיְרוּשָׁלַיִם
LeaderBenjamin Satanyahu
FaithSatanism

Currencyשקל
Animalgazelle

The Walled Cities of EretzIsrael is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Benjamin Satanyahu with a fair hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, ubiquitous missile silos, and otherworldly petting zoo. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 19.424 billion EretzIsraelians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Defense, with Industry also on the agenda, while Environment and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of יְרוּשָׁלַיִם. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient EretzIsraelian economy, worth an astonishing 14,565 trillion שקלs a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Gambling, and Uranium Mining. Average income is a breathtaking 749,883 שקלs, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 6,995,039 per year while the poor average 7,111, a ratio of 983 to 1.

Chest pains are considered part of the dining experience in EretzIsraelian restaurants, the government tries to improve relations with hostile countries by sending gift baskets, the tinfoil-hat crowd also recommend tinfoil wallets, and boot polish is the favourite lip gloss of entry-level corporate workers. Crime is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, probably because of the absence of a police force. EretzIsrael's national animal is the gazelle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Satanism.

EretzIsrael is ranked 231,226th in the world and 10,681st in The North Pacific for Safest, scoring 1.23 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.

Top
1%
Rudest Citizens: 1stLargest Retail Industry: 4thFattest Citizens: 6thMost Avoided: 6thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 8thMost Corrupt Governments: 9thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 13thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 16thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 17thMost Secular: 18thLargest Gambling Industry: 20thHighest Disposable Incomes: 25thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 26thLargest Insurance Industry: 34thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 37thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 40thHighest Average Incomes: 54thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 56thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 61stLargest Cheese Export Sector: 67thLargest Mining Sector: 77thMost Scientifically Advanced: 85thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 86thMost Armed: 89thMost Efficient Economies: 94thHighest Crime Rates: 103rdLargest Agricultural Sector: 167thHighest Economic Output: 182ndLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 215thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 693rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 922ndTop
5%
Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 2,730thMost Stationary: 3,583rdLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4,890thMost Valuable International Artwork: 5,223rdLargest Governments: 5,683rdLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 6,546thLargest Populations: 7,390thLargest Black Market: 7,926thMost Subsidized Industry: 8,105thTop
10%
Most Influential: 11,781stMost Advanced Defense Forces: 12,399thLargest Publishing Industry: 13,364thSmartest Citizens: 14,173rdMost Pro-Market: 14,176thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 19,084th
Top
1%
Highest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 3rd in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 4th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 4th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 4th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4th in the regionMost Armed: 4th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 5th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 8th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 30th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 55th in the regionMost Stationary: 82nd in the regionTop
5%
Largest Populations: 112th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 156th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 158th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 199th in the regionLargest Governments: 298th in the regionLargest Black Market: 320th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 415th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 432nd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 451st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 508th in the regionTop
10%
Nudest: 625th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 683rd in the regionHighest Drug Use: 684th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 782nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, boot polish is the favourite lip gloss of entry-level corporate workers.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, the tinfoil-hat crowd also recommend tinfoil wallets.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, the government tries to improve relations with hostile countries by sending gift baskets.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, chest pains are considered part of the dining experience in EretzIsraelian restaurants.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, the jackhammer is considered a tool of artistic criticism.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, EretzIsraelian-made cars tend to catch fire in people's driveways.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, the nation's cuisine is the laughing stock of The North Pacific.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, EpiPen sales have skyrocketed.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, photos of picturesque coastal buildings are set against a backdrop of smokestacks and ship hulls.
  • : Following new legislation in EretzIsrael, the local custom of Biking With The Cars sends tourists home bemused or in body-bags.

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