The Northern Lands of Einswenn is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Sir Gustav Ranvald with a fair hand, and notable for its smutty television, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and unlimited-speed roads. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 25.163 billion Einseters enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The medium-sized, corrupt, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kronheim. The average income tax rate is 98.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Einset economy, worth a remarkable 7,314 trillion einskrones a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 290,672 einskrones, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

People often feel unbalanced by their daily commute, bug burgers are extra crunchy, children usually cry on their first day of school, and third world countries are rich in "I Love Kronheim" t-shirts. Crime is totally unknown. Einswenn's national animal is the Sacred White Deer, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Einserheim.

Einswenn is ranked 10,057^th in the world and 19^th in Forest for Most Patriotic, with 68.24 flags saluted per person per day.