The Watchfires of CPoV Guard is a gargantuan, efficient nation, renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, parental licensing program, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, devout population of 24.953 billion CPoV Guardians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The medium-sized government prioritizes Law & Order, with Industry, Defense, and Administration also on the agenda, while International Aid isn't funded at all. The average income tax rate is 43.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming CPoV Guardian economy, worth a remarkable 2,216 trillion $$s a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Trout Farming, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 88,837 $$s, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Pharmaceutical companies emphatically promise that "your pills are in the mail" rather than admit any supply shortfall, army rations are served on silver platters, Leader's luxurious new home has been designated as a protected cultural heritage site, and abortions are routinely performed in the nation's hospitals. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. CPoV Guard's national animal is the ^-^, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

CPoV Guard is ranked 43,506^th in the world and 1^st in Communist Party of Vietnam for Lowest Crime Rates, with 76.29 law-abiding acts per hour.