The Colony of Cortaline is a huge, environmentally stunning nation, remarkable for its enforced nudity and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 709 million Cortalineans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sorinacrasoelditynaraquinghastrealittien. The average income tax rate is 33.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Cortalinean economy, worth 38.9 trillion Cremequels a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Pizza Delivery, Gambling, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 54,882 Cremequels, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Nine-year-olds' chat logs are scoured for evidence of radicalization, organisations with 800 in their phone number are often raided by special forces, funding for education has been redirected into the military, and pet owners must make a payment if their charges leave a deposit. Crime, especially youth-related, is almost non-existent, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cortaline's national animal is the Goldfish, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Cortaline is ranked 121,315^th in the world and 1,778^th in the South Pacific for Most Advanced Defense Forces, scoring 1,982.08 on the Total War Preparedness Rating.