The Cold Hearted Bastardy of ColdHeartedBastards is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Scrooge McBastard with an even hand, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, sprawling nuclear power plants, and otherworldly petting zoo. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cheerful population of 40.408 billion Cold Hearted Bastards enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The tiny, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bastard City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient ColdHeartedBastardsian economy, worth an astonishing 21,114 trillion thalers a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Retail. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is a breathtaking 522,521 thalers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

Barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the Bastard City Natural History Museum, religious turf wars have caused frustrated police to pray for divine intervention, the "right of sanctuary" stops police pursuit into temples and churches, and internet service is too costly for normal people to purchase. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. ColdHeartedBastards's national animal is the predator, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

ColdHeartedBastards is ranked 298,091^st in the world and 9^th in Gatesville Inc for Most Conservative, scoring 20.42 on the Bush-Santorum Dawning Terror Index.