Population | 4.066 billion |
Currency | Closed Dollars |
Animal | Closed Animals |
The Republic of Closed Fun is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, public floggings, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.066 billion Closed Funians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."
The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Industry, Education, and Law & Order also on the agenda. The average income tax rate is 39.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.
The powerhouse Closed Funian economy, worth 500 trillion Closed Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 123,120 Closed Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.
It is mandatory to learn evolution in schools, courses in how to boil water are popular for formerly microwave-reliant Closed Funians, the new foreign policy is "why bother invading neighbours when they can be bought wholesale?", and it is a common belief that a sport isn't sport if there are no decapitations. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Closed Fun's national animal is the Closed Animals, which is also the nation's favorite main course.
Closed Fun is ranked 165,132nd in the world and 276th in The Funian Puppet Region for Most Ignorant Citizens, with 5.77 missed references per hour.
National Happenings
Most Recent Government Activity:
- : Closed Fun was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Disposable Incomes and Largest Cheese Export Sector.
- : Following new legislation in Closed Fun, it is a common belief that a sport isn't sport if there are no decapitations.
- : Following new legislation in Closed Fun, the new foreign policy is "why bother invading neighbours when they can be bought wholesale?".
- : Following new legislation in Closed Fun, courses in how to boil water are popular for formerly microwave-reliant Closed Funians.
- : Following new legislation in Closed Fun, it is mandatory to learn evolution in schools.
- : Following new legislation in Closed Fun, cotton candy made from genuine cotton cellulose doesn't quite satisfy.
- : Following new legislation in Closed Fun, the last thing Closed Funian soldiers hear before charging into battle is a preacher trying to convert them.
- : Following new legislation in Closed Fun, prisoners due for execution often use their final statement to complain about soggy bread rolls.
- : Following new legislation in Closed Fun, the state is footing the bill for billionaires' lawyers.
- : Following new legislation in Closed Fun, 13-year-old internet trolls are treated as a threat on par with terrorists.