The Fully Opened Dáxlamic Can of Clandestinople is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Lýderis Bradford John with an iron fist, and renowned for its flagrant waste-dumping, compulsory vegetarianism, and keen interest in outer space. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical population of 11.664 billion Clandestinopleans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Clandestinople. The average income tax rate is 48.2%.

The all-consuming Clandestinoplean economy, worth 984 trillion intelligence briefings a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 84,370 intelligence briefings, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.6 times as much as the poorest.

Diaper ads feature vertically-challenged adults wearing bootees, soldiers who shoot themselves in the foot are regarded as heroes, a handful of megacorporations own every "craft brewery" in the nation, and young and brooding teens are welcomed with open arms to the Dogwarts School of Strangeness and Sorcery. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Clandestinople's national animal is the spy, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Dáxlam.

Clandestinople is ranked 28,500^th in the world and 1^st in Randovia for Largest Black Market, with 88.3 trillion Standard Monetary Units.