The Republic of Cheesecakeastan is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by President Thomas de Reptar with a fair hand, and notable for its deadly medical pandemics, sprawling nuclear power plants, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 18.068 billion Cheesecakeastanians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The tiny, corrupt, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cheesecakeopia. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Cheesecakeastanian economy, worth a remarkable 4,843 trillion Cakians a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an amazing 268,067 Cakians, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Rioting during the nation's hosting of ORDER caused one million Cakians of property damage, a niche industry catering to S&M enthusiasts has sprung up, President Thomas de Reptar always arrives fashionably late and smelling of mushrooms, and Cheesecakeastanians believe manners maketh the leader. Crime, especially youth-related, is a serious problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Cheesecakeastan's national animal is the Golden Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Cheesecakeastan is ranked 334,296^th in the world and 161^st in Blue Ridge for Most Pacifist, with 3.6 cheeks turned per day.