The Fiefdom of Celliwig is a huge, efficient nation, remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, avowedly heterosexual populace, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 675 million Celliwigians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Agartha. The average income tax rate is 75.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The very strong Celliwigian economy, worth 64.6 trillion Rapats a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 95,762 Rapats, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Bigtopian interference in domestic elections is always democratically sanctioned, protesters are up in arms over new nuclear power stations, there is something rotten in the state of Celliwig, and the television adaptation of Jennifer Government is the most popular program in the nation. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Celliwig's national animal is the Golden Eagle, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities.

Celliwig is ranked 11,116^th in the world and 50^th in Europe for Most Authoritarian, with 4,440.17 milliStalins.