The Alpine Republic of Cascadla is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Bundespräsident Bruno Kreisky with a fair hand, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, frequent executions, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic population of 13.119 billion Alpines hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bern. The average income tax rate is 71.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Alpine economy, worth a remarkable 1,208 trillion Alpine Franc ₣s a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 92,115 Alpine Franc ₣s, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Police officers have been re-kitted with designer uniforms and gold-plated handcuffs, every day has been a surprise since weather reporters turned to consulting ancient totems for their seven-day forecasts, the government supplies ragtag bands of resistance fighters in exchange for vague promises of future payment, and the best way to be heard in politics is to speak softly and carry a big comedy prop. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cascadla's national animal is the Red Kite, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Protestantism.

Cascadla is ranked 44,818^th in the world and 74^th in Commonwealth of Liberty for Lowest Crime Rates, with 75.83 law-abiding acts per hour.