The Kingdom of Card 58 is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, remarkable for its absence of drug laws and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-working, democratic population of 11.484 billion Card 58ians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Defense, although Welfare, Healthcare, and Education are also considered important, while International Aid and Social Policy are ignored. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 5.9%.

The strong Card 58ian economy, worth 570 trillion deniers a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Furniture Restoration, Soda Sales, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is 49,680 deniers, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 322,056 per year while the poor average 3,064, a ratio of 105 to 1.

Surveillance cameras are banned, military spending recently hit a new high, the alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit, and the mood of raunchy movies is often ruined by the sound of babies crying. Crime, especially youth-related, is a serious problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Card 58's national animal is the bison, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Card 58 is ranked 266,180^th in the world and 714^th in Chicken overlords for Most Patriotic, with 3.8 flags saluted per person per day.