The Illuminated Path of Captain Woodhouse is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Professor Fate with an iron fist, and notable for its museums and concert halls, complete lack of prisons, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 27.243 billion Captain Woodhouseans are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Valley of Ashes. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 1.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Captain Woodhousean economy, worth an astonishing 10,978 trillion $$s a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 402,994 $$s, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,749,533 per year while the poor average 3,945, a ratio of 950 to 1.

Not showing enough enthusiasm for mutual assured destruction is a court-martial offence, historical commemorations regularly devolve into militaristic jingoism, the lasting legacy of the current generation is a million years of buried radioactivity, and environmental protestors are being rounded up and taken away in sinister black vans as a massive land development campaign gets underway. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Captain Woodhouse's national animal is the Death's-head hawkmoth, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Aubrey-Maturinism.

Captain Woodhouse is ranked 3,152^nd in the world and 1^st in Islam for Largest Governments, scoring 49.21 on the Bureaucratic Comprehensiveness Rating Scale Index.