by Max Barry

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Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 468thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 661stLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 692nd
The Unholy Terrors of
Iron Fist Consumerists
ARRH!
Pirate Pete
Influence
Eminence Grise
Embassy Officer
Region
Civil Rights
Some
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Few

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Captain Bones

Population14.223 billion

CapitalCrossbones
LeaderPirate Pete
FaithPillagianism

CurrencyGold Doubloon
AnimalGhost

The Unholy Terrors of Captain Bones is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Pirate Pete with an iron fist, and remarkable for its ritual sacrifices, parental licensing program, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 14.223 billion Captain Bonesians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Crossbones. The average income tax rate is 58.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Captain Bonesian economy, worth a remarkable 3,727 trillion Gold Doubloons a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 262,055 Gold Doubloons, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Women who walk into the ladies' changing room are accused of being Peeping Toms, prisoners work-share to cut down rising costs of keeping them in jail, burial ceremonies have become as routinised as tax forms, and the stacked neck-ring is this season's hottest fashion item. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Captain Bones's national animal is the Ghost, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Pillagianism.

Captain Bones is ranked 9,754th in the world and 4th in Doll Guldur for Most Stationary, with 2,384.2790990604 days.

Top
1%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 468thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 661stLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 692ndLargest Black Market: 1,543rdMost Corrupt Governments: 1,697thMost Avoided: 2,269thLargest Mining Sector: 2,277thTop
5%
Highest Average Incomes: 4,598thHighest Poor Incomes: 4,887thMost Devout: 5,107thHighest Economic Output: 5,307thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 5,427thHighest Disposable Incomes: 5,523rdRudest Citizens: 6,938thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 7,603rdLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 7,644thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 7,872ndMost Advanced Defense Forces: 8,574thMost Stationary: 9,754thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 11,626thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 11,769thMost Efficient Economies: 12,340thMost Subsidized Industry: 12,640thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 14,398thTop
10%
Most Influential: 15,382ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 18,115thLargest Governments: 19,638thMost Patriotic: 20,572ndFattest Citizens: 22,742ndLowest Crime Rates: 22,904thMost Scientifically Advanced: 27,732ndLargest Populations: 28,517th
Top
10%
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Captain Bones, the stacked neck-ring is this season's hottest fashion item.
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Bones, burial ceremonies have become as routinised as tax forms.
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Bones, prisoners work-share to cut down rising costs of keeping them in jail.
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Bones, women who walk into the ladies' changing room are accused of being Peeping Toms.
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Bones, a new generation of aquariumless hotels are being built under government supervision.
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Bones, the government is reining in public spending.
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Bones, heretic deviants are free to practice their deviance outside of Captain Bones.
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Bones, the easiest method of escaping from prison is to take singing lessons.
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Bones, parents giddily refuse to pay their toddlers' medical bills.
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Bones, Maths Professor Barbie is the most popular toy for boys and girls alike.

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