The March of Progress of Candlewhisper Archive is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Jackie Lipstick with an even hand, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, complete lack of prisons, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 7.706 billion Archivists enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The minute, pro-business government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Education, although Industry, Administration, and Social Policy are also considered important, while Environment and Defense are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Monaster. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Archivian economy, worth a remarkable 3,024 trillion diapertokens a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Soda Sales, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 392,469 diapertokens, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,128,880 per year while the poor average 37,316, a ratio of 57.1 to 1.

Abortions are routinely performed in the nation's hospitals, the children of Candlewhisper Archive are often remarked upon for their cheery attitude to extreme violence, the new 'Things We Stole From Other Countries' exhibition at the National Museum of Antiquities is a hit, and royalist is the most offensive slur in the Archivian language. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Candlewhisper Archive's national animal is the Seven-Toed Anxious Dolphin Mutant Thing, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Memetic Contagion.

Candlewhisper Archive is ranked 164,162^nd in the world and 369^th in Forest for Most Income Equality, scoring 1.75 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.