by Max Barry

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Issues Editor
Candlewhisper Archive was Commended by Security Council Resolution # 235
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 64th Fattest Citizens: 152nd Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 152nd
The March of Progress of
10% off beauty goods. Because You're Worth It.
Jackie Lipstick
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Candlewhisper Archive

Population7.706 billion

LeaderJackie Lipstick
FaithMemetic Contagion

AnimalSeven-Toed Anxious Dolphin Mutant Thing

The March of Progress of Candlewhisper Archive is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Jackie Lipstick with an even hand, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, complete lack of prisons, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 7.706 billion Archivists enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The minute, pro-business government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Education, although Industry, Administration, and Social Policy are also considered important, while Environment and Defense are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Monaster. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Archivian economy, worth a remarkable 3,024 trillion diapertokens a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Soda Sales, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 392,469 diapertokens, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,128,880 per year while the poor average 37,316, a ratio of 57.1 to 1.

Abortions are routinely performed in the nation's hospitals, the children of Candlewhisper Archive are often remarked upon for their cheery attitude to extreme violence, the new 'Things We Stole From Other Countries' exhibition at the National Museum of Antiquities is a hit, and royalist is the most offensive slur in the Archivian language. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Candlewhisper Archive's national animal is the Seven-Toed Anxious Dolphin Mutant Thing, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Memetic Contagion.

Candlewhisper Archive is ranked 164,162nd in the world and 369th in Forest for Most Income Equality, scoring 1.75 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.

Largest Soda Pop Sector: 64thFattest Citizens: 152ndHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 152ndMost Avoided: 162ndLargest Retail Industry: 177thRudest Citizens: 183rdMost Scientifically Advanced: 188thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 189thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 212thHighest Disposable Incomes: 244thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 259thMost Secular: 319thLargest Information Technology Sector: 333rdMost Inclusive: 416thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 461stSmartest Citizens: 483rdLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 497thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 568thHighest Average Incomes: 571stHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 572ndMost Rebellious Youth: 745thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 810thHighest Crime Rates: 819thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1,021stLargest Mining Sector: 1,042ndMost Influential: 1,120thLargest Publishing Industry: 1,181stMost Cultured: 1,715thTop
Largest Gambling Industry: 1,761stLargest Insurance Industry: 1,864thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 2,904thHighest Economic Output: 3,191stMost Armed: 3,290thMost Efficient Economies: 5,124thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 5,245thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 6,306thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 7,413thTop
Most Pro-Market: 10,254thNudest: 11,527thHighest Drug Use: 15,164thLargest Black Market: 15,771stLargest Agricultural Sector: 16,653rd
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2nd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2nd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 2nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 2nd in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Avoided: 2nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 2nd in the regionFattest Citizens: 3rd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 3rd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 3rd in the regionTop
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 5th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 6th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 6th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 6th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 6th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 7th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 7th in the regionMost Secular: 8th in the regionMost Influential: 9th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 10th in the regionMost Inclusive: 10th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 11th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 12th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 15th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 15th in the regionMost Armed: 17th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 18th in the regionTop
Most Rebellious Youth: 19th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 19th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 23rd in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 24th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 26th in the regionMost Cultured: 29th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 34th in the regionMost Stationary: 37th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Candlewhisper Archive, royalist is the most offensive slur in the Archivian language.
  • : Following new legislation in Candlewhisper Archive, the new 'Things We Stole From Other Countries' exhibition at the National Museum of Antiquities is a hit.
  • : Candlewhisper Archive voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Condemn Civil Defence Siren".
  • : Following new legislation in Candlewhisper Archive, the children of Candlewhisper Archive are often remarked upon for their cheery attitude to extreme violence.
  • : Following new legislation in Candlewhisper Archive, abortions are routinely performed in the nation's hospitals.
  • : Following new legislation in Candlewhisper Archive, former customs officers are adjusting to their new lives as market stall traders.
  • : Following new legislation in Candlewhisper Archive, teenagers across the country are celebrating the defeat of a national curfew bill.
  • : Candlewhisper Archive was reclassified from "Capitalist Paradise" to "Capitalizt".
  • : Following new legislation in Candlewhisper Archive, young children are regularly seen wagering pocket money at blackjack tables.
  • : Following new legislation in Candlewhisper Archive, Jackie Lipstick's office has a newly installed Max-Man arcade game programmed by a 5th-grader.


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