The January Sales of Candlewhisper Archive is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Johnny Burger with an even hand, and renowned for its smutty television, digital currency, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 7.335 billion Archivists are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, pro-business government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Education, although Industry, Administration, and Social Policy are also considered important, while Environment and Defense aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Monaster. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Archivian economy, worth a remarkable 2,822 trillion Orbicularis a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Soda Sales, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 384,814 Orbicularis, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,059,525 per year while the poor average 37,651, a ratio of 54.7 to 1.

No cul-de-sac or trailer park is complete without a gambling parlor, Candlewhisper Archive Barrier Island residents anxiously await their 'Bridge to Somewhere', the Museum of Blackacrean War Crimes is located on "Blackacre Did Nothing Wrong Avenue", and the comic book series 'Johnny Burger and the Villainous Corporate Cronies' is a best-seller. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Candlewhisper Archive's national animal is the Seven-Toed Anxious Dolphin Mutant Thing, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Candlewhisper Archive is ranked 1,619^th in the world and 24^th in Forest for Most Cultured, scoring 247 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.