by Max Barry

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Issues Editor
Candlewhisper Archive was Commended by Security Council Resolution # 235
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 71st Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 156th Fattest Citizens: 161st
The January Sales of
Capitalist Paradise
doo doo doo doo doooo, We're Lovin' It.
Johnny Burger
Civil Rights
Very Good
Political Freedom
Very Good

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Candlewhisper Archive

Population7.335 billion

LeaderJohnny Burger

AnimalSeven-Toed Anxious Dolphin Mutant Thing

The January Sales of Candlewhisper Archive is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Johnny Burger with an even hand, and renowned for its smutty television, digital currency, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 7.335 billion Archivists are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, pro-business government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Education, although Industry, Administration, and Social Policy are also considered important, while Environment and Defense aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Monaster. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Archivian economy, worth a remarkable 2,822 trillion Orbicularis a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Soda Sales, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 384,814 Orbicularis, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,059,525 per year while the poor average 37,651, a ratio of 54.7 to 1.

No cul-de-sac or trailer park is complete without a gambling parlor, Candlewhisper Archive Barrier Island residents anxiously await their 'Bridge to Somewhere', the Museum of Blackacrean War Crimes is located on "Blackacre Did Nothing Wrong Avenue", and the comic book series 'Johnny Burger and the Villainous Corporate Cronies' is a best-seller. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Candlewhisper Archive's national animal is the Seven-Toed Anxious Dolphin Mutant Thing, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Candlewhisper Archive is ranked 1,619th in the world and 24th in Forest for Most Cultured, scoring 247 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.

Largest Soda Pop Sector: 71stHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 156thFattest Citizens: 161stMost Avoided: 170thLargest Retail Industry: 171stLowest Overall Tax Burden: 208thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 238thMost Scientifically Advanced: 240thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 264thHighest Disposable Incomes: 270thRudest Citizens: 313thLargest Information Technology Sector: 355thMost Inclusive: 411thMost Secular: 440thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 496thSmartest Citizens: 535thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 536thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 537thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 591stHighest Average Incomes: 607thHighest Crime Rates: 817thMost Rebellious Youth: 835thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 855thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1,005thLargest Mining Sector: 1,054thMost Influential: 1,177thLargest Publishing Industry: 1,192ndTop
Most Cultured: 1,619thLargest Insurance Industry: 1,874thLargest Gambling Industry: 1,990thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 2,961stHighest Economic Output: 3,421stMost Efficient Economies: 5,193rdLargest Cheese Export Sector: 5,900thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 6,249thMost Armed: 6,375thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 7,469thTop
Most Pro-Market: 10,350thNudest: 12,658thLargest Black Market: 15,747th
Most Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 2nd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 2nd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 2nd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Avoided: 2nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3rd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 3rd in the regionFattest Citizens: 3rd in the regionTop
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 7th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 7th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 8th in the regionMost Influential: 8th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 8th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 8th in the regionMost Inclusive: 9th in the regionMost Secular: 9th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 11th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 11th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 11th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 13th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 16th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 18th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 18th in the regionTop
Most Rebellious Youth: 21st in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 21st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 22nd in the regionMost Armed: 22nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 23rd in the regionMost Cultured: 24th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 35th in the region

National Happenings

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