The Federal Republic of Calbout is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by John Rund with a fair hand, and remarkable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, pith helmet sales, and keen interest in outer space. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 1.599 billion Calboutians enjoy great social freedoms and frequent elections, where the majority of the populace regularly votes to increase its benefits at the expense of various hapless minorities.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Calcadonia. The average income tax rate is 68.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Calboutian economy, worth 177 trillion Calboutian Dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 111,279 Calboutian Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Disadvantaged neighbourhoods have become no-go areas after sundown, former arsonists can be found on local fire brigades, teachers are dying as they attempt to read 500 word essays without pausing for breath, and knock-knock jokes regularly get removed from websites for being too edgy. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Calbout's national animal is the Red Fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Protestantism.

Calbout is ranked 18,793^rd in the world and 375^th in Europe for Most Pacifist, with 119.19 cheeks turned per day.