The Commonwealth of British Alban is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by President Bryan Torres with a fair hand, and notable for its smutty television, irreverence towards religion, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 11.882 billion Albanians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Albania. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient British Albanian economy, worth a remarkable 2,784 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 234,324 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Accusations of corruption stick when the accused are long-gone, euthanasia is illegal, the aphorism "there's no need to argue" has been dismissed by Albanians, and foreign leaders' Twitcher accounts are monitored for potential threats to national security. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. British Alban's national animal is the eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

British Alban is ranked 69,295^th in the world and 422^nd in Europe for Most Patriotic, with 24.02 flags saluted per person per day.