The Constitutional Monarchy of Beimauco is a huge, efficient nation, renowned for its frequent executions, smutty television, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 612 million Morcantes are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cardiff and Brussels. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 38.4%.

The powerhouse Beimaucoan economy, worth 50.3 trillion English Pounds a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Furniture Restoration, and Cheese Exports. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 82,212 English Pounds, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 296,229 per year while the poor average 16,315, a ratio of 18.2 to 1.

The richest individuals apparently buy nothing but noodles and toilet paper, most voters only see their chosen representative visit once every election cycle, Catherine Gratwick's campaign support is considered seminal, and child labor has been outlawed. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Beimauco's national animal is the Daisy Flower, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Beimauco is ranked 266,491^st in the world and 260^th in United Kingdom for Most Pacifist, with 21.65 cheeks turned per day.