The Colonial Empire of Bealtiamor is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Bealtian Imperial Council with an iron fist, and notable for its pith helmet sales, irreverence towards religion, and punitive income tax rates. The cynical population of 2.088 billion Bealtiamorians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Beal City. The average income tax rate is 66.0%.

The all-consuming Bealtiamorian economy, worth 174 trillion Imperial Dollars a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Woodchip Exports, Trout Farming, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 83,698 Imperial Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.0 times as much as the poorest.

Surveillance cameras are banned, fixing attendance at women's matches is a matter of "when they go low, we go high... funding", colours are running as Bealtiamorians take on their own laundry, and the dartboard at the Bealtiamorian Cancer Research Charity bears a picture of Bealtian Imperial Council's face. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bealtiamor's national animal is the horse, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Atheism.

Bealtiamor is ranked 54,826^th in the world and 10^th in Aspen for Largest Black Market, with 14.3 trillion Standard Monetary Units.