The Kingdom of Barnstorf is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by King Jason Alexander III with an even hand, and remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, avant-garde cinema, and daily referendums. The compassionate population of 2.342 billion Barnstorfians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vicratria. The average income tax rate is 75.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Barnstorfian economy, worth 188 trillion Barnstorfian Marks a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Book Publishing, and Information Technology. Average income is 80,657 Barnstorfian Marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Prisoners can't do number twos without their "toilet buddy" present, most Barnstorfian Mark coins are riddled with bite marks, paper and ink publications are subsidised by the government to keep them in the black, and cinemas play art-house movies to ever-shrinking audiences as film critics rule the industry. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Barnstorf's national animal is the Griffon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Moderate Violetism.

Barnstorf is ranked 127,781^st in the world and 769^th in Europe for Nudest, with 148.25 cheeks per square mile.