by Max Barry

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Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 219thLargest Insurance Industry: 235thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 278th
The Protectorate of
Corporate Police State
Determining who is smart and who was shot in the head.
Supreme Evil Overlord Balding
Influence
Minnow
Civil Rights
Few
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Bald

Population25.83 billion

CapitalHairless City
LeaderSupreme Evil Overlord Balding
Faiththe Order of Saint Balding

CurrencyBald
AnimalBald Eagle

The Protectorate of Bald is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Supreme Evil Overlord Balding with an iron fist, and notable for its public floggings, frequent executions, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 25.83 billion Bald Bastards are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hairless City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 50.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Bald economy, worth a remarkable 9,074 trillion Balds a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Retail, and Information Technology. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 351,308 Balds, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,242,565 per year while the poor average 3,776, a ratio of 858 to 1.

The government response to disaster victims starving for bread is "let them eat stale cake", photos of picturesque coastal buildings are set against a backdrop of smokestacks and ship hulls, sailors spend their shore leave helping old ladies cross the street, and commemorative mugs remembering last year's Black Friday Crockery Riots are a best seller this year. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bald's national animal is the Bald Eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is the Order of Saint Balding.

Bald is ranked 1,037th in the world and 29th in The North Pacific for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 9,776.4 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 219thLargest Insurance Industry: 235thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 278thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 773rdLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,029thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1,037thHighest Economic Output: 1,162ndFattest Citizens: 1,712thLargest Mining Sector: 1,719thLargest Black Market: 1,840thHighest Average Incomes: 1,863rdMost Stationary: 2,140thHighest Disposable Incomes: 2,272ndLargest Agricultural Sector: 2,357thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2,359thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 2,785thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,996thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 3,085thLowest Crime Rates: 3,334thMost Avoided: 3,384thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3,452ndTop
5%
Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3,474thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 3,853rdMost Corrupt Governments: 3,883rdLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 3,974thLargest Gambling Industry: 4,028thLargest Retail Industry: 4,426thLargest Governments: 5,479thMost Efficient Economies: 6,598thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 7,250thLargest Populations: 9,315thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 13,086thLargest Publishing Industry: 13,297thMost Influential: 13,318thMost Advanced Public Transport: 14,131stMost Subsidized Industry: 17,137thTop
10%
Most Scientifically Advanced: 17,540thMost Patriotic: 24,179thLargest Information Technology Sector: 24,544thSmartest Citizens: 24,706thMost Armed: 24,913thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 27,632ndMost Pro-Market: 28,516thMost Extreme: 32,396th
Top
1%
Largest Insurance Industry: 6th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 9th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 13th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 16th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 24th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 29th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 32nd in the regionMost Stationary: 34th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 34th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 38th in the regionFattest Citizens: 40th in the regionLargest Black Market: 47th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 59th in the regionTop
5%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 65th in the regionMost Avoided: 66th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 66th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 69th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 70th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 71st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 74th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 75th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 78th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 81st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 82nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 83rd in the regionLargest Populations: 97th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 117th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 138th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 145th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 150th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 216th in the regionLargest Governments: 225th in the regionMost Extreme: 262nd in the regionMost Armed: 301st in the regionTop
10%
Most Patriotic: 366th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 417th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 420th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 439th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 515th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 569th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Bald was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Avoided and Largest Furniture Restoration Industry.
  • : Bald was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Subsidized Industry.
  • : Bald was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Lowest Crime Rates.
  • : Bald was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Manufacturing Sector.
  • : Bald was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Extreme.
  • : Bald was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Dead.
  • : Bald was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Survivors and Most Zombies and the Top 10% for Most Dead.
  • : Bald was struck by a Mk II (Sterilizer) Cure Missile from The Free County of Chaedina, curing 359 million infected.
  • : Bald was struck by a Mk II (Sterilizer) Cure Missile from The Free County of Chaedina, curing 350 million infected.
  • : Bald was struck by a Mk II (Sterilizer) Cure Missile from The Free County of Chaedina, curing 539 million infected.

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