The Constitutional Tsardom of Azoris is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Tsar Vyacheslav of House Von Dexen with a fair hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, infamous sell-swords, and national health service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 14.128 billion Azorisians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The medium-sized, corrupt, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Issnicia. The average income tax rate is 92.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Azorisian economy, worth a remarkable 4,015 trillion Aureuses a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 284,191 Aureuses, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Celebrities sit helplessly as they are labeled "pompous womples" by Tsar Vyacheslav of House Von Dexen, space shuttles regularly launch rubbish into space, polling place volunteers are suddenly opening a huge number of offshore bank accounts, and the Azorisian football team for the Maxxmas ceasefire consists only of Intelligence Corps personnel. Crime is totally unknown. Azoris's national animal is the Siberian Wolf, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Imperial Truth.

Azoris is ranked 100,156^th in the world and 5,085^th in Osiris for Lowest Crime Rates, with 65.83 law-abiding acts per hour.