The Commonality of Arva Telan is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Rey Palandír Taimo with an iron fist, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, anti-smoking policies, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 7.417 billion Telani are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kikoro. The average income tax rate is 79.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Arva Telanian economy, worth 909 trillion Gold Coins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, highly specialized black market in Tourism, Book Publishing, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 122,678 Gold Coins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Politicians accost strangers in the street to ask their problems, it is illegal to distribute Girl Guide Cookies without an advanced food hygiene diploma, nature reserves often contain artificial waterfalls and concrete paths, and politicians constantly ring their voters to remind them how good a job they're doing. Crime is totally unknown. Arva Telan's national animal is the Lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Runar.

Arva Telan is ranked 68,068^th in the world and 23^rd in Thegye for Lowest Crime Rates, with 70.38 law-abiding acts per hour.