The State of Ardenwood is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by the Governor with a fair hand, and renowned for its irreverence towards religion, absence of drug laws, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-working, democratic population of 11.562 billion Ardenwoodians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, liberal, pro-business government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Westminster. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.7%.

The strong Ardenwoodian economy, worth 584 trillion betales a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Pizza Delivery industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is 50,587 betales, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 327,463 per year while the poor average 3,133, a ratio of 104 to 1.

The police force is on a recruitment drive, Ardenwood has designated Westminster as its capital city, The Governor has just been declared ruler of Ardenwood in an international press conference, and the government's official stance on religion is that it is so very silly. Crime is a serious problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Ardenwood's national animal is the deer, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Ardenwood is ranked 285,832^nd in the world and 8^th in Winnipeg for Lowest Crime Rates, with 38.28 law-abiding acts per hour.