The Phantasm of Afi-Aftos is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by El Guapo with an iron fist, and remarkable for its aversion to nipples, feral children, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 37.932 billion Afi-Aftosians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Industry, although Administration and Healthcare are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dreck City. The average income tax rate is 76.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Afi-Aftosian economy, worth a remarkable 7,327 trillion Fishterous Correlations a year, is highly specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Uranium Mining, Retail, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an impressive 193,168 Fishterous Correlations, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

Sushi is sold on the black market, having skeletons in one's closet is no longer just a macabre idiom, Afi-Aftosians struggle to cut steak with a spoon, and the song 'They Got an Awful Lot of Coffee in Afi-Aftos' is a smash hit. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Afi-Aftos's national animal is the Vermicious Knid, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Dudeism.

Afi-Aftos is ranked 209,216^th in the world and 4^th in Fredonia for Most Devout, with 4.42 Prayers Per Hour.