by Max Barry

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 76thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 120thLargest Insurance Industry: 164th
The Weed-Choked Lawn of
Father Knows Best State
Always fighting crime -- especially youth-related.
Influence
Apprentice
Civil Rights
Below Average
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Map Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

A mean old man

Population32.865 billion

Capitalthe world
Leadera tired and angry old fart
Faithforgotten

Currencycolostomy bag
Animalreally old cat

The Weed-Choked Lawn of A mean old man is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by a tired and angry old fart with an iron fist, and notable for its frequent executions, public floggings, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 32.865 billion geriatrics are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Healthcare, Environment, and Industry are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the world. The average income tax rate is 1.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient old as hell economy, worth an astonishing 11,217 trillion colostomy bags a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Pizza Delivery. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 341,306 colostomy bags, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Maintaining economic growth is no laughing matter, petitioners are increasingly resorting to climbing through a tired and angry old fart's window to draw attention to their issues, politicians' financial records are locked up tighter than the nation's colostomy bag reserves, and Merry Birthday is a popular protest song despite the risk of fines and royalty dues. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. A mean old man's national animal is the really old cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is forgotten.

A mean old man is ranked 9,837th in the world and 182nd in The East Pacific for Most Secular, with 95.54 Atheism Rate.

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 76thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 120thLargest Insurance Industry: 164thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 164thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 338thHighest Disposable Incomes: 490thMost Influential: 645thHighest Economic Output: 673rdLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 683rdLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,120thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,489thHighest Average Incomes: 1,940thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,106thHighest Poor Incomes: 2,112thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2,288thLowest Crime Rates: 2,793rdMost Beautiful Environments: 2,805thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,848thTop
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Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 3,224thLargest Agricultural Sector: 3,355thBest Weather: 3,634thLargest Populations: 3,693rdLargest Black Market: 4,549thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 5,977thLargest Mining Sector: 6,231stLargest Governments: 7,348thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 7,565thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 9,027thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 9,127thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 9,818thMost Secular: 9,837thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 10,919thMost Ignorant Citizens: 11,664thMost Patriotic: 11,668thLongest Average Lifespans: 13,085thTop
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Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 20,234thMost Stationary: 20,769thMost Scientifically Advanced: 25,526thFattest Citizens: 25,939thLargest Information Technology Sector: 29,144thMost Efficient Economies: 29,277thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 31,513th
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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 4th in the regionMost Influential: 5th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 6th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 8th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 9th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 10th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 15th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 23rd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 23rd in the regionLargest Populations: 25th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 26th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 27th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 30th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 31st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 43rd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 48th in the regionTop
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Largest Black Market: 53rd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 57th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 70th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 86th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 87th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 101st in the regionBest Weather: 105th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 114th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 134th in the regionLargest Governments: 161st in the regionMost Secular: 182nd in the regionMost Patriotic: 196th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 198th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 238th in the regionTop
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Fattest Citizens: 281st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 283rd in the regionMost Stationary: 332nd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 351st in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 471st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 487th in the region

National Happenings

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 327 » Todd McCloud, Plazland, Kelssek, Barfleur, ReeK, Headpat Central, Iodinia, Enlil, New Bradenia Ghost, Amjedia, A Slanted Black Stripe, Kangarawa, Unger under over, Abtracnt, Talitoa, Axdel, Bachtendekuppen, Of Centralist Brexit, New Leganes, Ripsylvania, Spiruvania, Arkalarius, Aeljae, ReReReRepublic, Peatiktist, Elejamie, Fellon, Slys Paws, BearStackof2015, Roliganistan, Euricanis, Tshana, Trimmania, Davinhia, Bai Lung, The Almighty Country, Republic of Berzerkistan, Lanagon, Impia Aghte, Sheelberite, Lundenia, Lyontisia, Ridann, Drunken Seal Islands, Lurolona, The Empire of Rijelv, Harro Waarudho, Adavan, Duracell, Propwash, and 277 others.Slongs, Packilvania, Kyrtizhan, Enou, Kublam, Centrical Union, Lantros, Kucia, Southern Yugoslavia, Federation of Knights, Islandian Free States, Aihon, Pekweng, Mundiferrum, Samaltak True, Stellar Colonies, United Order Republic, Dorles, CheeseBurrito, The Federation of Osea and Yukotobonia, Kriov, Modra, From New World, Capave, Pizza devil cat, The Armed Savages, The planet nation, Nationalist Gilgeria, Ad Honorem Dei, Danelaw Scandinavia, Busto arsizio2, Blobbo, Pledonia, Adolanta, Under Upper Antartica, Pacifist Cowards, Solek, Myehn, Awestre Gorend, Thermodolian WA Mission, Comeradia, Buushi, Brethren, Hizuru, Constervatania, Sansangra, Caymarnia, Thurland, Greater Dunlain, Her Malue, The Atlotl Archipelago, Cymru Broadcasters, The Soviet Texas Union, Verconia, West Elyria, Kampf Empire, East Malaysia, Aivintis, Goodnamesarerare, Tychko, Vilender, The 7th Coalition of Alba, The Marlands, AuthRight Authoritarianism, Tea Jol, Pakitsk, Kurikia, Kaigi, Kylondia, Adinesi, EmpireBR, Amabilis, Estande, Solarhis, Estados Italicos, New Sandsnionion, Atrocha, Anthonyland, Santa Dystopia, United Citizens, Wakeopolis, The Holy Rat, Daravon, New Gehenna, Northen Luxembourg, United Vica Scoldus, Mariarty, Batreau, Keovia, Romanoddle Republic, Norgsveldet, Irizia, Xhya-zsathis 03b, Emberwood Coast, Rainbow Vests, Sea Lions, New Garokirk, Bobadyk, Jankono, Vaskeden, Azosd, Gorloc, Malvekia, Akimera, Murshan, Pondingonia, Catistania, Foksan, Evdon, Asendavia, Grod Dratia, La Xinga, Roissyland, Alleramica, Dwightica, Terrabis-Seran, Norveeba, Zanithia, Auricland, Royabad, Froppill, Saladass, Vervian Desire, Volinovia, Troc, Lunma Un, Slonful, Husseberg, Kuberistan, Faisol, Sergioica, Evrigenis, Resaaria, The Nightmare and Dreams, Khusja, Connerii, Luz de Luna, Dremaur, Henren, Reynar, Veliekopolie, Dalia Porphyra, Hunterdon, The Holy Caltro, Chinesasia, BeNjAmInLaNdIa, Kalaratri, Singapore3, FrankieMania, The Oass, EliCon, Priti Purple Wonderland, Haltyas, New Solainsula, Apulon, The United States Of Harbinger, Island Revildor, Norim Selen, Naui Tu, Tiby, The Foraois, Soapia, Grand Exultia, La Isla Nueva, Liberatarianism, Triumphiam, Arleat, NewImperia, Restoration of Eastern Kaiserreich, Debluu, Decrosca, Merlovich, The City of Philadelphia, Ospuze, Randomskaya, Opyra, Azealand Isle, Kyrisland, Marrabuk, Bolshelviks Union, ToMaroc, Dragons Blood, H-Zhena, Karietown, Jakun, The Central Territory, Oricora, Themyscyra, Nalur, Osipia, Wtfisakm, Maneiras, New Birblands, Nova Klarnistria, American-Cascadia, Wirist, Dusk Tides, Varhemia, Cappedore, Laurentrum, Allied States of Osea, Seroscapia, Lower Upperton, Soramra, Justin K, The people of Gabon, Velvetsia, Aresetia, Lorynia, Philville2, Drakonica, Truth and Technologies, Maringia, Sokala, Order of the Saint Dumas, Padan, Allinburg, Kelsyth, Waren, Anglost, Cyberstrom, Pso Star System, Birkanie, Valonian States, Zulore, Maltitalerland, Carora, Aversaria Aautokrata, Crawlisle, Great Aztlatan CommonWealth, Solanara, Recaxa, Alsatian Island, TK101, Fish Republic, The Perplexed, Cameronia Excellentia, Lant Aztere, United China Nation, Toala, ArenaC, Bairrada, Asinker, Goden, The Sovereign Philippine Isles, Khundenceylestan, Artificial Superintelligence, UFCL, Belrille, Autonomous Anarchist Collectives, Corvau, Isthmian, The Grand Duchy of Renatia, Hieggary, Ci Arovannea, Kaonas, Far Otter, JingCo Robotics, Narki, The Cen Sprue, Aculion, The Grend Dostennauff, Matika, Gwezenn, Kinya, No th, Mardom, Conqerica, Saint Kin Islave, Raymortus, Pewtaria, Naurasia, Sour Kingland, Alpine Paradise, Libertore, Soulandiand, and Zukchiva.

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