by Max Barry

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Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 3,225thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 3,326thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 5,878th
The Dirty but Lucrative Affairs of
Capitalist Paradise
Everything has its price...
Mr Happy
WA Delegate / The Embassy's Complaints Office
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Very Good

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

A Goblinoid Merchant

Population10.251 billion

CapitalMr Happy's Funland
LeaderMr Happy


The Dirty but Lucrative Affairs of A Goblinoid Merchant is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Mr Happy with an even hand, and remarkable for its absence of drug laws, complete absence of social welfare, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 10.251 billion Goblinoid Merchants are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The tiny, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mr Happy's Funland. The average income tax rate is 5.1%.

The powerhouse Goblinoid economy, worth 849 trillion GOLDS a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is 82,844 GOLDS, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.5 times as much as the poorest.

The national sporting identity is represented by a talking burger and a singing smartphone, employees are told they can avoid traffic jams by starting work at 4 AM, the Grasshopper stadiums are open 24/7, and an increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents. Crime is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. A Goblinoid Merchant's national animal is the Grasshopper, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is CONSUM.

A Goblinoid Merchant is ranked 143,637th in the world and 10th in The Embassy for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 1,148.95 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.

Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 3,225thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 3,326thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 5,878thHighest Disposable Incomes: 10,763rdLargest Mining Sector: 11,728thTop
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 12,739thLargest Gambling Industry: 14,310thFattest Citizens: 15,254thLargest Retail Industry: 16,026thHighest Drug Use: 17,881stMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 18,822ndMost Stationary: 19,878thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 21,419thHighest Economic Output: 22,362nd
Most Influential: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Drug Use: 1st in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 1st in the regionMost Stationary: 1st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 2 » Catherine Louise Marie Ernestine Freneau and Lower Slobbovia.

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